We are asking for some much needed advice from all you seasoned parents out there--or anyone who has knowledge on this subject. We've had problems with Bailey's sleep pretty much since the day she was born. Those of you who have talked to me know that this has been my #1 topic of choice because I don't know what to do. We have Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child and Babywise. I was planning on starting sleep training (letting her cry to sleep) once we got back from our last trip (a few days ago). At Bailey's four month checkup, the doctor asked about her sleep. I told her she wasn't sleeping very well, and that I was going to start sleep training in a couple of weeks. The doctor told us not to start so early. She said to wait until Bailey was six months old. Apparently at six months, the parent-child bond is secure. If you do it before six months, your child may not trust you as much or feel as secure with you. Well, I wasn't very happy to hear that we had to endure another two months of sleep deprivation, but of course I'm more than willing to do whatever is best for Bailey. Well, now I'm starting to doubt if this is best for her. On average, she wakes up every ONE to TWO hours EVERY night. Plus, she goes to bed late. Last night, I desperately tried getting her to sleep at 9:00. When I put her down, she would instantly start crying. I would pick her up, and she would go right back to sleep. I tried putting her down six or seven times!!! Each time I tried to put her down, she would wake up. She doesn't typically do this. I finally gave up, and she didn't go to sleep until 11:00. Then she woke up at 12, 1, 2, 4:45, and 6:45. Her longest stretch these days is about three hours, but many nights she'll only go about two. It's like we have a newborn again.
She was sleeping pretty well (4 to 5 hours at a time at least) before we went on our trip to Michigan. Since that trip, her sleep has never gone back to normal no matter how hard I've tried. She doesn't nap for very long either...usually 35-45 minutes.
I'm just wondering if any of you have had trouble with this and if your pediatricians have recommended anything to you. WHAT did you do and WHEN did you do it? I'm sure Bailey is sleep deprived, and I know I am. If it's best to just wait until six months, then that's what we'll do, but I want to make sure that's what's best for her. ...Sorry to ramble on about this. As you can tell, I'm getting a little desperate.
7 comments:
Beware, I have very strong opinions on this...
Pediatricians are great but they are all TOTALLY DIFFERENT. Mine was in complete agreement about the 4 month thing...it has saved us! Lennon cried the first three nights, and since then he goes right down at 7 pm. Babies need sleep. Moms need sleep. Trust? You teach Bailey how to eat, how to crawl, how to walk, how to talk...you will also teach her how to sleep. Four months old was a great age for Lennon -- old enough that he was no longer a newborn, but young enough that he made great habits early. Friends of mine who didn't start schedules early are still suffering (six months later). If YOU feel like you can handle a couple nights of her screaming (sounds horrible but think of the sleep she'll get in the long run), then start. My pediatrician completely agreed with the book so it's all opinion at this point. Plus, waking up that much is ridiculous. 11 pm is too late. Save yourself some grief and start her on a schedule. Lennon's sleep has made him such a happy, content baby! Okay, I'm done. Email me.
Hey...
I wanted to see if this goes through...
Berkley...
I know we talked over the phone, but I wanted you to know you are a perfectly perfect mom. Sleep is waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay over-rated.
I love you!
Mom
Hi Berkley. This is Kristi...one of Megans old roomates. I know we met before..I have never posted on someones blog I don't really know, but I totally know what you are going through. My baby Brooklyn is now 7 months old. For the first 6 months of her life she would sleep at night for an hour, then be awake for an hour or two, then sleep for another hour. The process would continue all night long. She would only take 2 twenty min naps a day. She had acid reflux really bad and so the second we would lay her down, she would wake up screaming. I could not bring myself to let her scream to sleep..I read all the books....nothing seemed to work for 'my baby.' I don't know what happen, but at six months she just started sleeping! It's a hard thing to deal with, especailly when I felt like everyone was judgeing me. Good luck...it will get better! At night when I saw every hour on the clock, I would tell myself...she's not going to wake up every hour when she's 5!
Morgan didn't go to sleep by herself or through the night until she was ten months. My doctor said it was ok at four months but I just felt so bad. Then when ten months hit I figured in order for me to be a better parent I really was in need of a full nights sleep. So I say in order to save your sanity just let her cry it through. As rough as it is, it DEFINITELY made me more patient! Good luck!
Here is my advice. I am not a seasoned parent or an expert, but this is what worked for us. We read the Healthy Sleep Habits book as well. I think you have to realize that the book is extreme, but we followed it as far as we felt comfortable. And it has been amazing. At three months I was going crazy with sleep deprivation and so we decided to let her cry it out. The first night she cried for 26 minutes and and I bawled the whole time too. Then she fell asleep until 5 am. Then next night it was 16 minutes. And then asleep until 5 am. She has NEVER EVER cried to go to bed again in her life. It was the best thing for her and for us. And she is very secure and happy. She runs into nursery and never looks back. I think you need to think about your sanity and think about how exhausted she probably is. I am not saying to do what we did, but it was a success for us. Keep us posted!
Hey Berks, I haven't really started doing anything yet, but Xavier sleeps fairly well...for a baby. I have heard though that it's better if you put your baby down earlier. But I don't really know. Simon wants to start letting Xavier cry it out when we put him down, but I'm definitely not ready for that. It seems so mean when, if I just pick him up, he'll stop crying...but I also realize that I can't do that for the rest of his life. Maybe I'll start trying at 3 or 4 months...that's what my pediatrician said.
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